So there I was… my marriage was falling apart… despite all my attempts to fix it, or save it… and I had a dreary overnight job… which gave me plenty of time to think about it.
One night in particular, I was staring at the walls (primarily the one with the clock), while thinking about who I was, and the choices I had made throughout my life. It seemed that I was choosing to date unfaithful women again and again.
I started reflecting on the type of women I was attracting into my life. Clearly, they were responsible for their own actions, but how was I dating (or in this case, marrying) the same kind of person over and over again? What was I doing wrong?
There’s a bit of Zen wisdom that goes something like: “The key to the present is releasing the past and the future…”
So I let go of those old thoughts, and decided to get back to work on what was important.
I had been listening to a set of CDs called Unstoppable Confidence. They were aimed specifically at helping men develop greater confidence with women, but I began to feel totally amazed at the versatility of the exercises on these CDs. An improved sense of self can help you in almost any aspect of your life… I was getting great results using the first 5 exercises, but I had been saving the 6th. Then I thought “What the Hell, might as well go for it.”
The 6th exercise was a meditation/induction for connecting with your ideal lover. It involves choosing all the qualities your ideal lover would possess, and starting to open yourself to meeting people with these qualities during your meditation. I didn’t appreciate the power of this exercise at first, but looking back on it, I have to testify to the results.
With nothing else to do (or lose, for that matter), I began the meditation…
At this point, there was beautiful young woman less than twenty feet away from me. We had said little more than “hello.” and “how are you doing?” to one another, and we had worked together for a few weeks. The day after my second time practicing the 6th exercise, we got into a rather deep conversation (it seemed to come out of nowhere). Rather than spending the night bored, staring at the clock, I enjoyed a great conversation with this woman, and we didn’t stop talking until the shift ended!
As we talked more, we grew closer and closer. I began to wonder if she enjoyed my company as much as I enjoyed hers (for some reason, a delighted smile was never enough for me). I never tried to move past conversation with her, though, because I had always made it my rule not to date the people I work with. In addition to this, even though my marriage was ending, it hadn’t ended, yet.
Less than a year later, the company closed. We were all out of a job! There were many fond ‘good-byes’. Everyone always exchanges numbers, never to call.
I found a new job, and as the months passed by, my wife and I were finally divorced (free at last).
Less than a month after this, I got a call… it was the girl from work! She wanted to take me to a reggae concert…
That was three years ago, and we’ve been together ever since!
I don’t know if the exercise did something on a non-physical level to draw us together, or if it simply helped me to open myself to what was already there… regardless, the results have been spectacular!
There are a variety of meditations for a variety of purposes. There is very little in your life that can’t be improved with a little bit of focus…
So take the time to meditate… it can change your life!
keep smiling,
ben
P.S. If you want to get your copy of Unstoppable Confidence now,
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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Holy cow ben. Thats a sweet looking chick. Can even I make time with hot girls like that or am I hopeless.
Thank you, Will. To answer your question, there is hope for everyone. If you will make time for yourself, you will be able to make time with anyone else you like. Check out Unstoppable Confidence. It will blow your mind!!!
So yeah are you available? I am hotter than that chick in the picture. Not really but I am having more work done maybe by Christmas. Till then I have to make time for myself I suppose.
Uuuhhhhh, yeah… Unavailable… Does anyone have any questions or comments about self hypnosis or meditation?
Yeah, how can I meditate to not be unfaitful, bad evil woman type mentioned above?
Before I answer, let me state that none of the people I described above or elsewhere are evil, bad, wicked, etc. The people who I felt caused the greatest pain in my life have been my greatest teachers.
Having said that, infidelity is very often caused by 1 of 2 things (and the first is often a symptom of the second).
First, you may not respect your partner. Occasionally, this is because your partner just doesn’t have what it takes to earn your respect. The easy cure for this is to leave him or her. If you want to meditate on it, then by all means meditate. Then be sure to act.
The second (and the more insidious cause) is a lack of respect for yourself. This is a much more challenging focus of meditation. Lack of self respect will often lead to a general disrespect for others. The questions to ask are: “Am I ready to accept and grow past this?”, and “Am I ready to recognize and celebrate the piece of the Divine within me that connects me to all (if you don’t like this metaphor, insert your favorite…you can be filled with god, Goddess, Chi, the holy spirit, or whatever else you like)?”
When you recognize a connection with everyone and everything, you begin to realize it’s okay to mess up, and it is also okay to get better and better and better.
Thank you for your question…I hope this helps.
keep smiling,
ben
With an exclamation like “free at last”, how can you say the previous relationship women weren’t “bad”?
They weren’t “bad.”
It’s pretty much that easy.
Given the trigger happy state of the world today, “good” and “bad” may not be the most useful descriptions anymore. I prefer to describe whether or not I (another person could have different results/experiences) found something useful at a given place (might be different somewhere else), in a given time (who knows what will happen tomorrow?).
The relationships themselves seemed like “bad” experiences at the time, but this attitude leads to sayings like “life sucks!” A statement like “life sucks” can’t really be disputed. There is plenty of evidence for it (watch the news or read a paper). A person can, however, choose to have a different attitude. The attitude I tend to embrace is “everything is a chance to learn.”
Whether this is true or not (again it can’t really be disputed), is not the point. Since I have adopted this attitude, I have been much happier, and much more able to achieve what I want in life.
As far as the ‘free at last’ comment is concerned, I suspect this type of statement will get a lot of appreciative nods from both sexes. Everyone has felt trapped at some time. The important thing to realize, though, is that we build our own prisons. When you discover that you can leave (or come back and visit) at any time, the feeling of liberation is intense. There is no use in escaping from Alcatraz if you continue to fortify the walls inside your own mind.
Keep smiling!
Hi there, I found your blog via Google you have some very interesting posts.