Previously, we have discussed several aspects of how to get where you are going with the Law of Attraction.

In the first post in this series, I spoke about the importance of feedback (take a look:
The Law of Attraction / How long does it take to see results?)

In the second post, I explained the value of using feelings to help reshape your world (The Law of Attraction / How long does it take to see results… Part II)

In the third, I spoke about environmental factors that can be benefits or impediments to your success (check it out here: The Law of Attraction / How long does it take to see results… Part III)

Now let’s take a look at some examples.

It was 1998. There was a lot of disappointment in my life around money and relationships. In addition, I was tired of the martial arts schools I had attended… I wanted some real skills. I had been reading Tony Robbins. So I told myself “I’ve gotta set some goals!”

Some of the goals I wrote were:

1. “I am with the woman of my dreams!”
2. “I am financially free!”
3. “I am a black belt in American Kenpo!”

Now #1 is a bit ridiculous. Considering the situations I was going through at the time, I definitely needed to improve my mentality around women and dating… but the whole “woman of my dreams” deal is setting yourself up for failure. It is important to have standards, and be willing to not only live up to them yourself, but have the willingness to walk away from those who don’t live up to them. On the other hand, it is also important to realize that there is no perfection, just people…at the end of the day we’re all just human beings, and no one can really live up to my dreams (they can be a bit extravagant…;^)

#2 is an ongoing challenge upon which I have only started to make real headway recently… but we’ll save that for another post…

#3 has been a long, and difficult path, but it has been well worth it. The time frame for my goal was 3 years (it is important to give yourself time limits for your goals… this motivates you to take action now, and gives you a standard against which you can measure your success). I wanted a black belt in Kenpo… which is pretty specific and very measurable (if your goals are vague then it is hard to tell whether or not you have achieved them, and it is also difficult to establish a plan for how you can achieve them). The goal also seemed fairly realistic… I knew it would take a lot, but I was willing to work for it (there is no point in setting unrealistic goals).

I was living in Florida at the time, and I couldn’t find a Kenpo instructor.

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I had trained with plenty of instructors, and they just weren’t teaching what I wanted to learn. Several times I thought “I should probably just train here… this might be the best I’m going to find!”… but I refused to let myself settle… this was important. I played with Kung Fu, Kickboxing, Jeet Kune Do, Jiu-jitsu, Judo, Okinawan Kempo, Tae Kwan Do, Karate, but none of these was what I was looking for.

I finally found an American Kenpo instructor, but his teaching skills were terrible. I made it through 1 class and never saw him again.

Grasping at straws, I decided to start my own group. I studied some of the books and videos I had read about Kenpo, and attempted to train with friends in order that we all might learn the principles together. This was probably the biggest step on the path in many ways.

When you can show others in your life that you are serious about your vision… something changes in you!

Unfortunately, none of us really had the skills of an experienced martial artist, or an instructor, and as such, our gains were not great.

Less than a year after I joined the Army, I found myself in Colorado Springs. It was July of 2000. I figured I would look around for a dojo. I had learned not to expect much… but I was pleasantly surprised.

The instructor was friendly and knowledgeable. We spoke for a while. I explained that I had previous training. He asked what type and how much. I said I had trained at many different schools, but never for very long or very seriously. His response has stuck with me.

“Are you ready to do some serious training?”

In many ways, my approach to developing skills and living in general are still shaped by that question.

It was as if the Universe was calling me out, saying “Okay, you want it, you got it! No bullshitting, though. If you do this, you’ve gotta do it for real!”

That’s exactly what I did. I’ve been training at that school ever since. I have an excellent instructor, fun and intelligent fellow students, and I love going to class. I’m a 2nd degree black belt in American Kenpo, and I will test for my 3rd in 2010.

Looking at this process is very telling about me. I can be very picky and very stubborn. My persistence did pay off, though. I didn’t meet my time frame (I received my black belt in 2005), but I did achieve my goal.

some other important points:

• I was definitely attentive to the feedback from my earlier training… I wasn’t getting the results I wanted, so I kept looking.
• I wasn’t very good at adding emotion in my search. More often than not, I was saddened by the fact that I hadn’t found what I wanted yet. I’m quite certain this slowed down my results!
• Ultimately, I was willing to restructure my entire life (joined the Army and moved halfway across the country) in order to get what I wanted. I would take a more holistic approach now, but this willingness definitely helped me get where I was going!

The most important lesson here, is if you really want it, you will eventually find it. A specific goal is good, but if it is too specific, you may have to work longer and harder to achieve it… but well worth it in my case!

But what about fast results?

Let me give you an example of that. One of my many less-than-illustrious jobs has being doing inbound call-center sales (not much fun… I don’t recommend it) for a cable company. It is very easy to get in a shitty mood when you’re dealing with people over the phone all day… particularly when they think it’s okay for them to be rude to you because:

1. You’re on the phone and there is no fear of consequences
2. You’re just somebody in a call center… that hardly counts as human
3. They think you’re trying to screw them out of their hard-earned money

Attitude is an incredible factor. I have proven this with improved sales on numerous occasions.

Very often, I would get into a negative state… I was tired of work, and didn’t want to talk with customers. Predictably, the phone calls would begin to drag on, people would be less polite, and no one wanted to buy anything.

On many occasions, through breathing, stretching (as much as possible in a cubicle), and other techniques, I have been able to break my state, and bring back an attitude of happiness and prosperity. Once my attitude has changed, suddenly people are more friendly… more people want to buy… and it’s a lot easier to get through the day.

This could be argued as coincidence, but I have recreated the coincidence on numerous occasions… and oddly, I can’t recreate it when I’m in a bad mood.

The lesson here is that many of the things you want are ready for you… right here, right now… if you are willing to change your attitude.

Are you willing to change your attitude?

keep smiling,

ben

P.S. I did write a bit more about the whole “Woman of my dreams” thing in an earlier post: This one time, when I was meditating…