“Vengeance taken will often tear the heart and torment the conscience.”
-Arthur Schopenhauer
But we do it anyway.
If not in actual action… we tend to take vengeance in our minds throughout the day.
When I was younger, I drove like an asshole… so naturally, I attracted the attention of the police.
I can’t tell you how many police I’ve imagined running over, blowing up, shooting, etc.
Fortunately, I have become wiser in my driving habits… but it would be a lie to tell you that my thoughts are free of vengeance.
It seems only natural that when we feel ‘burned’… we want to ‘burn’ back.
We want to get ‘even’.
When you really understand today’s exercise… you will realize that there is no ‘even’.
You will also realize that no matter where you run for the fear of vengeance… the fear of vengeance goes with you. Hiding in the most well protected fortress only traps you.
The fear of vengeance is connected with the desire to get revenge… and the anger the started the whole thing…
But how do we let go of the impulse to get revenge… and the anger the originates it?
First, we begin to recognize and accept what we are seeing… and what created it.
A Course in Miracles: Day 22
The game for Day 22 is:
What I see is a form of vengeance.
This is how anyone who holds attack thoughts will see the world… at least a portion of the time.
You will want to use 5 practice periods of at least 1 minute each.
As you look at the objects around you, say to yourself:
I see only the perishable.
I see nothing that will last.
What I see is not real.
What I see is a form of vengeance.
When you are wrapping up the practice, say to yourself: “Is this the world I really want to see?”
Notice how much you can relax and accept as the thoughts and feelings arise.
This helps us begin to recognize that the majority of all the evil, hate, and ‘bad stuff’ that we see in the world… is only a reflection of what we have brought to it.
Like any feud… a strike can’t be made without fear of retribution.
In this particular feud… both parts are within you… the part that has and directs the anger… and the part that fears retribution…
When you can reconcile these parts… when you can forgive yourself and all the aspects of yourself… and all those around you…
Then you will begin to really experience peace…
And when you can really bring peace into your life… all that you do and experience in the world will be transformed.
It is important to note that just recognizing the process of anger, vengeance, and fear within yourself… and beginning to truly accept it… will begin to break the cycle!
A Few Metaphors…
There is a Buddhist saying that goes something like this:
Holding anger at someone is similar to picking up a hot coal to throw at an enemy… you may mildly burn your enemy, but not until after you’ve severely burned yourself .
I prefer to think of ‘vengeance’ as suicide bomber mentality. You’re holding a big bomb… and you might kill or hurt some other people, but you’re at ground zero… you’re definitely going to kill yourself.
You’re at ground zero for all the emotions you feel… no matter who you perceive to be the cause, or who you intend to direct them at.
The bomb is going off in your mind-body!
You get the majority of the impact.
Of course, the other end of this is quite beautiful.
You also get the majority of the benefit of all your joyous feelings… no matter where you think they come from.
Imagine a blast of joy that starts at the core of your being, and radiates out in waves…
Others will definitely benefit from your joy as well… but you will feel it first, and most intensely.
Here’s to a joyful life…
keep smiling,
Ben
